The Elephant in the Family Room by Rene Sonneveld

"It’s a must-read, particularly because of the focus on emotions which is the most important part and which most family business books do not tackle."

Maria Elena Lagomasino

CEO and Managing Partner, WE Family Offices

“From constructive ways to manage more challenging emotions like fear or envy to recognizing the interference of cognitive bias, Sonneveld offers an array of hands-on strategies to cultivate a strong emotional core in any family business. [An] astute debut . . . Creative, impactful strategies for coaching and managing family businesses.”

Publishers Weekly Booklife Reviews

“This book is fantastic and among the best written on the complex issues of family-owned businesses. The tone reflects René’s vast experience and his concerned and generous personality. Brilliant!”

James Stewart

Founding Partner of Corvalier Trust Company

“Dealing with business-owning families means mastering human behaviors and sensitivities diligently and managing the interface between family and business governance while honoring the legacy and values that are the backbone of any enterprise. René Sonneveld masterfully guides the reader through the many behavioral aspects that, if left unchecked, can derail any successful business and jeopardize the very foundation of a family’s overall well-being. It's a practitioner’s guide and a must-read for all families facing intergenerational transitions.”

Dr. Kurt Moosmann

Executive Vice-Chairman of Elsa Peretti Holding Ltd. and President of the Swiss Single Family Office Association

"Refreshingly honest . . . Sonneveld’s strength is making abstract emotional challenges feel tangible . . . offer[ing] tools, not just theory. A standout . . . This book is essential if you’re in a family business, work with one, or are trying to avoid becoming your family’s next cautionary tale.”

Manhattan Book Review

"Essential advice from a deeply experienced practitioner who provides real-world observations and guidance."

Alan F. Heath

Chairman and CEO of Wind River Trust Company

"In family enterprises, what remains unsaid often shapes what endures. Having spent decades inside the emotional architecture of business families, I found that this book gives voice to rare truths that shape legacy, trust, and leadership across generations. René Sonneveld offers us the courage to look inward and the tools to navigate what truly matters."

Shweta Handa-Gupta

Board Chair of ICF Global and Chief innovator at QuadraBrain® Transformation Solutions

"The Elephant in the Family Room is a profound and necessary book—one that speaks to the emotional realities behind the strategy, governance, and legacy of family businesses. René Sonneveld brings clarity, empathy, and rare insight to the challenges that so many families face, yet so few dare to name. His work is both a compass and a mirror, guiding families not just to survive, but to grow with honesty, purpose, and connection. Every family business leader—and advisor—should read this book."

Ruben Azar

Executive Chairman of Grupo RAS

“The Elephant in the Family Room is a transformative guide for business families facing challenges that go far beyond spreadsheets and balance sheets. René Sonneveld, a former banker who left a high-profile career to follow a deeper calling, shares the wisdom gained from years of helping families around the world navigate the emotional complexities that threaten both legacy and love.
With honesty and empathy, Sonneveld brings to light the unspoken forces—fear, insecurity, envy, pride, mistrust—that silently undermine even the most successful family enterprises. Through real-life case studies, practical tools, and reflective questions, he helps families identify and confront “the elephant in the room” with emotional intelligence, courage, and shared purpose.
More than a governance manual, this book is an invitation to look inward. Written from the heart, by someone who has walked alongside families in moments of truth and transformation, The Elephant in the Family Room offers a compassionate roadmap for those who want not just to preserve a business, but to nurture the family that built it.”

Michel Cohen

Co-CEO Lolita Fashion Group

“The Elephant in the Family Room, René Sonneveld shares his decades of experience working with global wealth and business-owning families, bringing to light the personal and relational dynamics that are too often overlooked. With insight, compassion, and practical tools, he addresses the ‘soft’ issues—identity, trust, legacy, and conflict—that can quietly undermine even the strongest enterprises. This book is a must-read for families and their advisors who want to foster clarity, connection, and resilience across generations, both in business and in life.”

Philip Marcovici

Author of The Destructive Power of Family Wealth and The Transformative Power of Family Wealth

“An eye-opener to what’s often overlooked, this book is essential reading for anyone involved in a family business—owners, successors, and stakeholders alike.”

Breno Koogan Lorch

Shareholder - Grupo GEN SA – Brazil

“A psychologically perceptive guide for family-owned businesses, The Elephant in the Family Room is about keeping the peace while attaining continuing organizational success.”

Foreword Clarion Reviews

“René Sonneveld does a masterful job at painting the complex and turbulent picture of how emotions permeate and impact every aspect of family enterprises and underlie the unique challenges – and opportunities – family members face as they work together, and offers families a time-tested roadmap and a set of practical tools for achieving long-term success, fulfilment, and harmony.”

Peter Moustakerski

CEO Fox Family Office Exchange

“Replete with psychological insights, business savvy, and unusual examinations of how relationships drive or divide businesses, The Elephant in the Family Room is very highly recommended not just for library inclusion, but for executives and business club members who will find its many insights and suggestions invaluable.”

Midwest Book Review

“René Sonneveld’s The Elephant in the Family Room delivers emotionally intelligent and practical guidance for business families facing challenges that spreadsheets and legal structures can’t solve. Drawing on decades of global coaching experience, Sonneveld explores how resentment, fear, ego, and unconscious patterns silently shape decisions and perpetuate conflict. Blending neuroscience, psychology, and family systems theory, he reframes emotional tension as a source of insight and transformation. This book is both mirror and manual—equipping families and their advisors with the tools to align emotional awareness with governance, ensuring continuity, resilience, and legacy across generations.”

Joseph Kellogg

Head of Wealth Planning, WE Family Offices

“With an elegant intertwining of both strategic complexity and emotional dynamics common in family business, Sonneveld captures the essence of family enterprises. The stories in each chapter elucidate the best practices he has honed from decades of personal experience as an advisor, leadership coach, and even a member of both his own and his wife’s family business, and he offers suggestions and reflection questions to deepen the reader’s learning. What really stands out is his acute sensitivity to cultural tensions, a lens he can uniquely bring as a true citizen of the world.”

Cathy Carroll

Author of Hug of War: How to Lead a Family Business with both Love and Logic

“A fascinating and informative book for those who have family businesses, those who advise family businesses, and frankly, anyone who navigates the complex emotional space of their own family decision-making. René artfully shares family stories of struggles and successes from around the globe while injecting wisdom and guideposts for how to navigate the thorniest of family issues. We all can gain insight into the deeper motivations that drive how we relate and work with each other so that we can build healthier, stronger bonds personally and professionally.”

Sandra L. Stewart

President of SLS Coaching & Consulting and Author of Building the Core Competencies of Change

“What most shines through in The Elephant in the Family Room is Sonneveld’s clear and dispassionate analysis of the case studies he presents with an enlightened compassion, born of a long and wide-ranging professional and personal journey. He sets out to help others navigate the often treacherous waters of attending to the transition of a family business to its younger members.”

Maxi Gainza

Writer and Business Owner

“The Elephant in the Family Room is a masterpiece that deeply and sensitively addresses the emotional complexities within family businesses, challenges they face, etc. Congratulations! As a lawyer, I have gone through some of the situations you describe and I identified clients I advised in the past. The case studies and practical tools you've included provide valuable guidance to anyone that require to surf this wave.”

Diego Baldomir

Partner Guyer & Regules Law Firm

“Sometimes the obvious is right in front of us, yet no one sees it. The Elephant in the Room highlights the importance of confronting our all-too-human instincts with honesty and openness in order to ensure the success of family businesses. What makes this book stand out is its balance between practical insight and deep emotional awareness… It’s for anyone navigating the subtle power plays, loyalties, and expectations that come with working in a family enterprise.”

Manuel van Engelen

Commercial Director Interfood BV

"René Sonneveld's The Elephant in the Family Room: Managing the Complexities of Legacy Businesses is a critical resource for navigating the complex landscape of multigenerational enterprises. Sonneveld's writing is distinguished by its precision and equilibrium. His prose is both direct and lucid, yet it is also imbued with a sense of empathy that makes even the most complex dynamics comprehensible. With eloquence, depth, and practical wisdom, René Sonneveld delivers a book that speaks directly to the heart of legacy enterprises. It informs, challenges, and empowers, offering both knowledge and reassurance for those entrusted with the stewardship of family businesses."

The Book Revue

“Replete with psychological insights, business savvy, and unusual examinations of how relationships drive or divide businesses, The Elephant in the Family Room is very highly recommended, offering invaluable insights into the emotional realities that shape legacy businesses. Few other business books dare to address the fear triggers, childhood dynamics, and entitlement issues that fracture family enterprises and provide solutions.”

The Elephant In The Family Room

Managing the Complexities of Legacy Businesses

Awards & Reviews